Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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