Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
