I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I love you.
Bad choice
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