Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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