Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
