I want to stick my p in your. b.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
