What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
