PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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