I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
