We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
