I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
