I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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