She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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