It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
