Tell her she can't have a vagina
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
