I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
