u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
