Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
