it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you never un-have a 4some
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
