Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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