The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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