so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
as a side note pls kill me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
