so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
