Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
