I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
