More tranny stories later!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
