I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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