Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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