you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
