I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
