Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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