My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
