so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
