Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
