i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She bit a glass in half.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
