I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
