I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
