I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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