if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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