My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
