She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Let's get the cat blown out
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
