Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
