Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
