I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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