Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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