Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
