I love black thongs
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
