11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
