Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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