Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
