'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
